Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
