i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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