if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
