Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
