North Korea, Best Korea!
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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