My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
