im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
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