what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
