I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
You need Xanax blowdarts
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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