Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
