I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Let's paint friendship bongs
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
