4 words: hood of his car
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
