I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
