dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
being pregnant is like rehab
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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