Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Naked. naked and bneed help.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
