But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
