doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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