I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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