420 ftw
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
