hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
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