I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
did you just send me my own nude
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
