I just saw a hot homeless man
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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