Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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