We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Randomize
