you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
