Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
