Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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