What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
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