Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
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