You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
