Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
