she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
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