State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
