New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
