You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I just made out with a guy for $7.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Randomize
