Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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