Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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