i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Randomize
