Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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