I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
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