I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Randomize
