Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
