So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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