and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Dick very happy bro
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
