I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Actions speak louder than pants.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
