I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
All the doctor said was why
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize