I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
This baby is an asshole
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
