I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
