I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
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