thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
