So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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